Your 2017 Starter Kit

A new year is here and that means more pressure to kick last year's ass. Although I had a great year, people seemed to have really hated 2016 so it shouldn't be hard for everyone to beat. I have compiled a great list on tips, tricks, devices, books, etc. to get 2017 off right and get you feeling good. Some of my viewers chimed in as well and gave some GREAT advice too!

1. Read, "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero. I am all about self help books, because they inspire me, because they give me good writing topics, because I like to better myself. This book is a guhhhreat, easy read, doable tips book. She is a hilarious writer, totally relatable, and has a main theme of loving yourself fully for all you are while becoming a badass, and it's somehow not cheesy at all. Get it, read it, okay.

2. Take a probiotic. I am serious y'all- I have seen a CRAZY boost of energy, health, and calmness with my probiotic. I didn't originally take it for this, but it has shocked me, and made me so grateful I started. I take Dr Formulated- Mood Plus from Whole Foods, it says to take 2 a day but I just take one because 1. they are expensive and 2. I feel like 25 billion probiotics in ze bod is enough for me.

3. Do something for YOU. For me, this meant allowing Mitchell to watch sports and going in our bedroom, shutting the door, and watching a girly/murdery TV show that he would totally judge me for but that IDGAF because I love it. There are a lot of crime shows that I am fascinated by, but he thinks murder and rape is depressing, so he doesn't watch them with me. Therefore, I give myself time to enjoy that. I get super into them, maybe enjoy a glass of wine, get freaked out, possibly a little paranoid, I might even research the crime on the internet for a few hours. Mitchell gets to watch sports, doesn't have to know the extent of my fascination with Dateline, and I get to pretend I'm a forensic scientist and think about quitting real estate to become a detective. We both win? Find something you love and do it, watch it, read it, etc.

4. Drink more water. So, I actually haven't been doing this to the extend Mitch has, but I have increased. He has stopped drinking for 45 days (it's kind of annoying for me but whatever) and has been drinking roughly 3 liters of water a day and has more energy than ever, says he feels like he's on adderall but he's not, and his skin is dewy AF and I am jealous. We should all clean out our systems with some water- sidenote: I legit don't like water unless I am legit dying of thirst, so I put lemons in a pitcher and have found by doing that, I drink so much more of it. Get a fruit infused water pitcher and go to town sisters.

5. Start giving back. And I don't mean with money, I mean with your time. It's super easy to cut a check to charity, or to donate $15 a month to the ASPCA (trust me, I do it), but to actually get your hands dirty is what is going to make you feel good and change your life. For me, I wanted to volunteer with dog rescue programs, but, I have found the majority of them are primarily needing fosters, and money to help with medical and adoption expenses, etc. (which is all super important, but I was looking for something more), so I started finding local animal shelter's Facebook page, following them, and then literally went to pick up animals, usually those that are close to being euthanized, paying their adoption fee, and using my network of people to find them homes. The family's always send me updates of their pup and it brings me so much joy to know that I helped out in some way. For a good resource for all volunteering, go to Volunteer Match, they have literally every kind of volunteering opportunities in your community you can imagine. 

*Below is Harvey, (now Wade), I rescued him from a high kill shelter, he was on the waiting list :(. When I met him he peed all over me, was absolutely terrified being there, and I knew I had to save him. I reached out to my Facebook friends, found him the absolute perfect home with a couple who was looking to rescue, where he gets constant love, cuddles, and treats, is around other dogs and babies and absolutely loves his life. Rescuing him was one of the sweeter moments in my adulthood.

 

6.  Once a week or so, look up a positive news article, read about the good in the world. The news can be SO depressing, don't lose hope and sight that we do in fact live in a wonderful and beautiful world with really good people. I love reading about how some children decorated an old man's house for Christmas because he was unable to, and he is so moved and life is so happy and the youth is not damaged. It's just a good pick me up that I think is important for our morale.
Some sources for that are: Good News Network , Good News at The Huffington Post, and Daily Good

7. Give yourself a personal goal. It's so easy to do the obvious, get into shape, get promoted, sell more, etc., give yourself something that's going to change your character. That's going to chip away to some real good. I am trying to give more grace, not only to others, but to myself. It's been a slow process, but I am really trying to realize that not everyone walks in the same shoes I do, that I can screw up and it doesn't mean I am an idiot- 2017 is about giving everyone, including me, a break.

8. Be daring. I have learned how much I love to travel, and for me this is an issue because I LOATHE flying. I literally look like I should be locked up in an insane asylum when I am in a plane, so if you ever get the privilege of flying with me or near me, I am sorry and also you're welcome for your in flight entertainment. For me, even though I am terrified, I have learned that I enjoy seeing new places, experiencing new cultures, i.e. traveling, more than the fear. So I do it. Terrified. And I may never get over it, but it won't stop me from experiencing the world and growing as a person. 2017 is about kicking ass and taking names, not about living a life of fear.

7. Gain a hobby. I still don't know what this looks like for me. Blogging is a hobby, but I need a new one. Maybe I'll take a Spanish class, or start gardening, or bullet journaling (google it, it's a whole thing). Maybe painting like this sexy furry man below. Try something new, something that will make you a smarter, more enriched, full human being.

8. Sign up for an intramural team. When I signed up for kickball a few years ago, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I am not athletic, but became 3rd baseman, made a total fool of myself, and absolutely loved it. These people become your good friends, I ended up dating a guy from my team for a bit, and you really do find yourself looking forward to it every single week because you have different themes and parties and you are legit sad when it ends. WAKA Kickball is pretty much in every big city and is a blast, but they have all types, volleyball, softball, just go pick one and do it! *This was literally me below.*

9. Start a 30 day gratitude challenge. This has been something I was recommended to by my anxiety counselor, who is an absolute doll, she said it was a total game changer for her. Every day, for 30 days, speak aloud 3 things you are thankful for. You cannot repeat them, so eventually you get creative, i.e. seeing the spectacular in small things in your life. After 30 days, your mind has truly started to change so you're grateful about a hell of a lot more, and when you're thankful, how can you be anxious and not happy?

10. Do a SoulCycle class. Even if it's just one. Look I know they are so expensive, but they are seriously a treat. I loathe working out, like it ain't fun, y'all. But these classes seem to kick your ass, all while dancing to music, connecting with your fellow riders and most importantly weirdly touch you spiritually while you're singing Whitney Houston's, "I wanna dance with somebody." They are expensive because they aren't working out, it's an experience. Even if you can only do one a month, take advantage and do it! You will not regret it.

WHAT MY READERS SAY:

Alie Van Deman says:

"Get an Erin Condren planner. They are the absolute best. Order extra planner stickers to make the most use of it." Planners have always been difficult for me because I can't fit them in my purse, therefore forget them, therefore never use them. BUT, this year, I bought a big tote and carry my planner with me and I have been actually been using it. Just looked these up and they are cute AF, good recommend Alie!

Jennifer Ashford, says: 

"If you're getting married- hire a wedding planner!" And omg y'all, is she right. Jennifer was my wedding planner- and I did not want to spend my money on a full time planner, so I hired her as the "month of" and it literally saved my life. My wedding would have been a total crap shoot without her. Spare something else in your wedding and hire a planner, even if only day-of, it's a total necessity and keeps everything smooth, calm, and collected.

 

Katey M says:

"Let your words change your life (Based on Joyce Meyer's book) Focus on only speaking positive things and watch how it starts to change everything." Oh this is a struggle for me. I tend to complain a lot, because I can make it funny and kinda get away with it- but over the years it has truly affected me and my negativity. This year, I vow to speak positive words more, and to catch my tongue when I am not. Won't you do it with me and Katey?!

Kristen Nelson says:

 "I read a blog recently where someone chose a word to focus on for the year. Her word last year was patience-- just really focusing on infusing patience into her life. This year she is focusing on gratitude. I think I might pick grace for my first word. Extending grace to others as much as I can." Well lookity there, this is my sister, and I promise you I wrote that IIII wanted to give grace more before she said it. I think there is so much negativity in the world- extending and giving grace is just a real good place to start. Let's give people a chance in 2017!

Julie Imhoff says:

 "My church started the year with a series on relationships and mending those that are broken. I want this year to be about mending relationships that have been lose or broken in the past." Love this. Although I am terrible at this, mending a broken relationship can save your joy. I have only done this with a few people becuase if you break it, you buy it (I don't know it seemed fitting). I am very stubborn when it comes to people being an asshole, HOWEVER considering this year is a year of grace, I completely agree with you Julie. Mending broken relationships may completely turn your year around, if you're into that whole forgiveness thing.

Lindsay Hanks says:

"Let go and Let God. As He's molding me, I need to trust in HIS plan instead of asking for him to accept mine. We need to accept his timing through both loss and exciting times." Yas Lindsay, Yas! Again, such a hard concept for me, because i'm a psycho control freak. But, this is a mantra that needs to be hourly, daily, monthly, yearly for your whole life. 

Stephanie Small says:

"If you're married, read the 5 love languages. Total marriage game changer." Definitely! I have never personally read the 5 Love Languages, which is crazy because I write about relationships, but have heard it gives you a whole new world of perspective for your partner. I would read aloud with your man or lady too because it's beneficial for both parties to know what's going on with one another, communication styles, open up for discussions, it'll be just a dandy time.

Hannah Holliday says: 

"Find the balance in your weekend between fun and relaxation. Make the weekend yours." So important. No matter what the chaos in your life, find time to relax, or go have a drink, or go to dinner, stay up late watching movies, take naps, take TOTAL advantage of your days off so you can be the best and full you throughout the week.

Jojo Fletcher says:

 "I have been obsessed with vitamin E oil, I put it on my face, all over my body, it's natural and inexpensive. My favorite shampoo is Oribe gold luster too. It's the most amazing smell and leaves my hair so soft." Great beauty tip Joelle! Vitamin E oil is a great and inexpensive way to get a glowy, duey look without the expensive price of some of the others. I have been putting a little bit of oil on before I put my make up on, and love the way it makes the application so much easier and less cakey on my face. Also, I have used her shampoo before and it legit smells like heaven in a bottle. It also made my hair super soft which is hard because I have a lot of it and it's curly and coarse and cray. It's expensive but worth it- I would supplement another one in a few times a week so it doesn't go as quick!



Thanks so much for reading and tipping in guys! I am going to bring Jo in and do some of our favorite beauty products, tune in, and write me if YOU have some! (She has no idea this is happening yet by the way).


XX,
Kathryn

Motivation Station

Lately I have had zero motivation. I don't know if it's because I am a full time bride (and loving it holla), or it's been summer, it's hot, and I don't want to do anything but sit in front of a freezer butt ass naked, or because I just simply don't have much motivation right now and that's that. I find myself having a hard time doing everyday things that should be incredibly effortless for me to do. With my schedule being my own as a realtor, and the season of the game really slowing down, I have found myself lounging around more than usual. Some might say, oh that's great- and if you're someone with a full time job or have a few children- I completely agree, but I have no excuse. Recently, it has really started to affect my mental health. I find myself dragging my feet wondering a bunch of deep shit like what my purpose is in life and yada, yada, yada.

I think we all go through seasons where we feel better or worse about our place in life. We all want to leave some kind of footprint in the world, we all want to feel self worth, and if we don't feel that way, the long for it can depressing AF. As I have talked and researched with numerous people about this issue, I have realized that this feeling is normal, however, no one is going to change your poop blah situation but you. The tires are going to keep spinning in place until you decide that you want more because you are worth more. 

Something else I have found is that the best thing we can do evaluate our efforts, or lack there of, are to write a list of things that we feel are important to add or accomplish during our daily routine that we may not be doing. I am not talking about the ridiculously big goals that can feel unattainable because they overwhelm you (that is how I dream- I am like okay today, I am writing a book. I am going to go make friends with a village of dogs and save them all in 4 hours. I am going to lose 15 pounds by tomorrow evening... and I end up surprised and disappointed in myself when they don't happen). 

I have come up with some examples of daily tasks to boost your morale and get you feeling good about your productivity, to get those wheels unstuck and start moving on to your most inspired life. (Note: use these when you have the most energy, for me I am a groggy morning person, so these would be better around lunch time when I have gotten it together and am 110% awake and ready to take the day on.)

1. Drink more water. I do not like water. Like, if I could, I would only drink it after an intense workout where I was basically dying of thirst. I recently have found lemon water is the only way I will actually ingest an appropriate amount of water. So, I have tons of lemons around the house and cut them up as needed and squeeze them into my cup. Plus, you're suppose to have like 11 lemons for good juju anyways, so bam- two birds with one stone.)

2. Meditate for a few minutes. No, you do not have cross your legs and hum, just take a few minutes, even if it's 5, everyday, for mindfulness. For pausing and resetting your brain. No matter what kind of mood or situation you are in- it will make you feel a million times better, plus, it's like the hardest thing ever to sit there and just focus on your breathing, so challenge yourself to do it daily and you'll slowly start finding yourself becoming more relaxed, in tune with your body, and will become more focused. 

3. Uplift someone. This for me is something I try to do multiple times a week. Text or reach out to someone with an encouraging word. It could be a close family member, friend, or someone on Facebook that might need a positive message- but make someone feel good, it will make you feel just as good if not better. Sometimes, when I don't want to deal with people, I go and play with a dog at a shelter, which eventually leads me to rescue them & rehome them. Good leads to good- so find yours. 

4. Come up with daily affirmations. When you're feeling unsure, anxious, or down- take a minute and recite affirmations out loud. I am always anxious about legit dying from some horrible illness, so mine are, "You are happy, you are healthy, you are at peace." Make yours for what you struggle with and recite them 5 times (it takes 5 positives to negate a negative). As odd as it sounds, there is method to the weirdness, your mind will start to believe what you say and instantly start to feel better.

5. Read. Really, read. A few nights a week, DVR your favorite show and read one chapter in a book, and if you're too tired for a chapter, even a few pages. Remember, we are not trying to run a marathon, just improve the quality of life. This is embarrassing, but I am a sucker for self help books. I just bought both below, and am sooo excited to start them. I will be reading the Joyce Meyer to start my mornings and, "You Are A Badass" at night, probably with a glass of wine if we are being real.

 

6. Pick up your space. Cleaning the whole house can seem daunting as all hell, but is an instant feel good task. Pick one thing everyday and do it- vacuum, clean counters, wash sheets, etc. Don't overwhelm yourself, break it up into small daily tasks so by the end of the week your home is completely clean and you didn't even break a sweat.

7. Exercise. I truly believe this looks different for everyone. This doesn't necessarily mean hire a personal trainer and get a 6 pack. This may be taking a 15-20 minute walk before or after work, starting to add weights to your regime, doing squats while brushing your teeth. These things seem small, but will impact your routine so much! I started lifting 8 lb weights for the wedding, and I legit have little arm muscles...they cute.

8. Eat a good lunch. I know people always say have a good breakfast, which whatever, I am sure that's true. But all I know is that if I eat a salad or some good protein for lunch, I feel so much better for the rest of the day and usually make better dinner choices as well/ don't feel as bad for chugging my wine.

9. Do something for YOU. For me, this means taking a bath. I get some bath salts (don't always eat them), some bubbles and a candle with a little glass of vino, turn the lights down and melt away. Yours could be getting up a few minutes earlier and enjoying a cup of coffee on the porch alone, hiding away to watch your favorite trash bag TV show, joining a book club. Setting aside time for you to relax and reset is one of the most productive things you can do.

10. Start and finish something. Whether it's a home project or something at work, there is something so incredibly satisfying about finishing something.  You accomplished it and now you can enjoy the benefits of it. Figure out something you want or need to do, and carry it out. It feels good to be a gangsta. 

The most important advice of all for productivity is stop waiting to feel good enough to do these things. Don't put off these small but incredibly important tasks because they are the literal foundation to our productivity. Our productivity = our worth which = our happiness. At first, they may seem forced and you might wonder what the point is, but as you habituate, you will reap the benefits of what you sew which will boost your morale and overall happiness. Do you have a small but productive task you do everyday that you love? What is it? Comment below!

XX,

Kathryn Lane 

Fear is a liar

Today I woke up reading a quote from gold-medal gymnast Nadia Comaneci, "I don't run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet." 

It made me start thinking about how fearful my life has become. Besides my everyday anxiety I deal with, I am in my late 20's, (which doesn't seem old, but is because you're thinking about real life shit), trying to establish a real estate career in Dallas, trying to find my purpose here, maybe join an organization or start one again, and am about to get married and become a wife, which naturally raises the question of when we will have children. With all of those things is excitement, but is then quickly followed by the immediate and intimidating thought of fear and failure of the unknown. The negative thoughts of being unsuccessful at what is a very lucrative profession, not finding some outlet in an organization for me to be a part of and be fulfilled by, and in turn worrying that all of this will affect my marriage and I will end up living in a dark cave with Wrigley watching trashy TV by myself for the rest of my life terrifies me and probably crosses my mind on a daily basis. (I would pay for TV in a cave so I could continue watching my Dateline and Cops shows, don't question it).

"Am I intelligent enough to tell multi-million dollar clients to invest in a property I believe in?" "Could I start a women's group here like I did in Austin and would people Actually join? Dallas is much bigger than Austin, I bet they wouldn't want to be apart of something like that." 

"Will I be a good wife? Forever is so long." 

"Am I patient enough to be a mother? That would be incredibly hard to do on a 24/7 basis." 

 I could continue to list these pessimistic thoughts for days, but you get the idea.

The main theme throughout this ludicrous dark thinking is, "will I be good enough?" And if you continue to focus on the possibility of failure and the scariness of the fear, it becomes easier and easier to start believing that you will probably fail so you shouldn't even try. That you are not good enough, so continue to self doubt and be scared of the possibility of being kicked down and defeated.
The funny thing with fear is that it has no validity, and yet we give it so much power. (False Evidence Appearing Real).

Could I fail at all of these things that I worry about? Yes, logistically, I could. I could end up running out of my savings, not getting any new clients with real estate, which would force me to get a second job, and end up feeling worthless, hating my life, and becoming a bitter wife and crappy mom. Chances are I wont, because I highly doubt I would ever allow myself to. But, the thought alone is terrifying, it's almost debilitating, and it definitely puts a pause into what I want out of life.
Something to remember when dealing with fear, with self doubt, with wondering if who you are is enough, is that it's all evil. It wants us to be a part of the bullshit lie that gives us anxiety, sadness, and prevents us from living a whole and beautiful life. We are the only ones who are able to control our thoughts, our view on life and what we are truly capable of. If we believe we are MORE than enough, we are.

We have to learn how to trample our fears so deep into the ground they have no roots to grow back again. When you feel and hear these thoughts start crawling into your mind and affecting your spirit- negate them. Tell them the exact opposite of what they tell you. Our success, our peace, our happiness in life is OUR OWN story to write,  don't let fear hold the pen.

XX,

Kathryn Lane 

Leap Frog

I originally started writing this blog because I was single, dating, and it was a literal joke and completely horrifying. There must have been people who felt the same way because I started getting a plethora of viewers, and so I kept writing. I would meet guys, go on dates, maybe even seriously begin to date them, and report back to my readers. It was ridiculous, it was hilarious, but at the end of the day- I was still alone twiddling my thumbs wondering if my humorous stories were actually the reality of my future. The last guy that I dated, the doctor, kind of broke my heart, well maybe not my heart, but for sure my spirit. I had high hopes for him, he was handsome, witty, obviously intelligent, and we had a great connection. After months of turning my eye to random things and behaviors of his, I realized he was not worthy of me, if not less than any of the past guys I had dated. (Do not be afraid of this sentence. There are many wonderful people out there, but there are many who do not meet your standards, therefore making your worth more important than giving them chance after chance to be decent). As disheartening as this was, it lead me to reconnect with an old friend, who I am now madly in love with. Who has surpassed every dream I could have ever had in a partner- who is constant, faithful, yet exciting. I had to date some real assholes to get to the prize- but I would get my heart singed 100 more times if it continuously lead me to Mitch.
The reason I'm being all mushy gushy is because I am in a completely different place than when I began writing this blog. I started with a single girl's mind, with a following of women and men, who found what I was saying to be ridiculous, almost unbelievable at times, yet somehow relatable. And now, I have found love and my writing criteria is completely different. Yes, I could probably pull out hilarious and awkward memories to write about for two lifetimes, but that isn't where my heart is anymore. I want to start sharing the comical reality of being in a relationship. Of the funny stuff, the sweet stuff, but also the daily struggles, weekly struggles, etc. of having another person basically be glued to your identity. I am obviously no expert, which is why I want to share with you guys. It will be raw, real, and honest. I hope you guys will come along with me throughout my new journey. I'm excited to bring you the newer blog of my life, it's still messy and ridiculous as hell- I just have someone helping me clean things up.
And if you're single, searching for the right one, I am hopeful that this will give you real confidence and encouragement that there is an absolute diamond in the rocks of this dating mess, you just have to go through some frogs to get to the worthy prince.

    

  


 

The thing is- fear can't hurt you anymore than a dream. 

    

"I still love the people of my past, even if I would cross the street to avoid them." Uma Thurman 

XX,

Kathryn Lane