Kathryn Lane: February 2014

Considering Valentine's day is today, and I have been single for some time now, therefore have had numerous opportunities to be hit on, and creepily hit on, I thought it'd be a great for me to give you a kick out of unfortunate but TRUE pick up lines I have received recently.

Boys, read it and weep. Although you're not all like this, it's scary that there are a ton of you are that are.

THESE ARE REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES.

1) "Hello, my name is ____. Can I see your rack? It looks awesome!"

2) Wow, I just have to say- you look EXACTLY like my ex girlfriend...she died two weeks ago.....HAHA just kidding, whats up?"

3) *Guy buys me a drink, I talk to him politely for around 20 minutes and say I have to go* "Are you kidding me? You're leaving? That's it? I'd like you to pay me back for the glass of prosecco I bought."

4) "Wow, you have a strong handshake, are you sure you're a woman young lady...."

5) Texts from a crazy I mistakingly gave my number to, over the course of about 4 days-
"Hi.....
hey.......
hello....
why aren't you answering.....
hey....
whats up.....
you're an idiot....
can I take you out?"

6) "All I want to do is cuddle you so hard right now"

7) "Hi, i'm here for a bachelor party, but i'm flying you to California. I'll pick you up from the airport. Most romantic weekend coming up, you freaking babe."

8) "You had your chance to hang out with a fighter pilot! You pretentious b****"

9) "I'm a chiropractor...want me to readjust you?" *cue wink*

10) "Oh, so you dance huh? Are you like...bendy?"

11) "I do some part time photography, out of my garage, would you want to model for me? It's partial nudity."

Guys, just because you buy us a drink, get our phone number, or give us some sort of compliment does not mean we owe something to you, or anything to you for that matter. I'm sure most of you are used to certain girls that are desperate, but for those of us who aren't, the best way to meet a nice lady is to simply stick out your hand and introduce yourself. You want us to respect your character? Act like a gentleman and we will treat you like one.

Treat me like a lady, and I'll give you the chance to be a gentleman
.

On a side note..for those of you who have a valentine, a true, blissful, every sense of the word valentine- cherish it, all of it. Forget the small stuff, just love it all.
For those of you who do not and may be feeling a bit lonely, don't be so caught up in Valentine's Day that you forget that love is actually everywhere, every day. It's in who you are, what you believe in, what makes your heart beat, your soul happy. Love surrounds us in every form, all shapes and sizes, we just have to learn to appreciate it in every way, to truly feel it the way it was meant to be felt.

Happy Valentines lovers, make someone feel special.
xx

Recently, a few things have occurred to me:
1. Being downtown can kind of suck. For the most part, everyone's drunk and I usually leave feeling more empty and tired than when I got there. Not to mention my feet hurt so bad that I want to stab someone with my heel at the end of the night.
2. When I go out, I have got to lower my expectations. I subconsciously go out thinking i'm going to meet cool new people, and I will tell you, in the 2 years I have lived here, there has been about 3 people I have met downtown that I am still friends with. We have to train our thinking to realize that going out is just to have a good time with girlfriends. Stop having expectations of meeting the love of your life. Period.
3. After this weekend, and this post, I realize that I go out too much. There is nothing wrong with going downtown, but there came a point this weekend, when I was out on west and the bouncer at dogwood let me in without checking my ID because he recognized me BY NAME, that I soberly looked around and thought, "what the hell am I doing here?" 9 out of 10 guys were walking around in their vneck affliction t's and doing the creepy stare, and most girls were dressed in their tightest mini skirts and tube tops (YES, we actually saw a girl in a tube top Saturday night) hair extensions, fake eyelashes, 6 inch heels, you name it. All while sucking in, standing in the perfect pose, and having a conversation with some random dude that is pretending to listen to her story about her favorite childhood memory while in fact is actually thinking about what she looks like naked. Anyways, it made me wonder what kind of society have we created that makes us feel that it's necessary to impress people that much on a superficial level? What happened to the inside of us? We take all of this time making our outward appearances look pretty while part of our souls are deteriorating because we don't take care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually, intellectually-- we have somewhat stopped challenging ourselves internally and have began to accept physical attention for love. Here's an idea: let's stimulate ourselves again, and this time, let's do it on the inside.
I am certainly my own worst enemy when it comes to this, and we are all to some degree superficial, and that's okay to a certain extent because we want to look and feel good. God gave us faces and bodies for a reason. But, when we base our whole being on who we meet, who we see, who is interested in us, how good we look that day, etc., it turns into a nasty cycle of being unhappy and constantly leaving us feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied, just like I did on Saturday.

The whole point of this is because in the society we live in today, it's easy to get wrapped up in being superficial, for the most part- it's unfortunately encouraged. But, we need to remember the importance of doing things that energize us, make us happy, to love people more, find joy in hobbies and in every day things, work hard, and instead of focusing on meeting people all the time, meeting ourselves...reinventing ourselves, loving ourselves, figuring out who the hell we are, and what our calling in life is. And although going out and having a good time should definitely be done, we can't base our whole being on the weekends, because before we know it, our whole life will pass us by without us ever figuring out who we really are. As humans, we of course want to feel beautiful, but it is up to us to create a person within us that we are proud of. Someone that when we lay our head on our pillow at night can think, "I have done good today." Ultimately this will result in us feeling attractive as a whole, but doing so in the right way, from inward-->outward

So, go out and fall in love with your soul all over again. One of the million dollar questions in life is what our purpose is here on earth. I believe the best way to find it, is to find yourself first.

"IT TAKES A LOT OF REHEARSING FOR A MAN TO BE HIMSELF."

- ― William Saroyan

“Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”