Kathryn Lane: July 2014

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't make a complete ass of myself on my 20th birthday. My best friend found me in our pantry with a bottle of wine in pajama pants, singing Hootie and the Blowfish's song, "Time," eating a box of triscuits, hugging my dog with tears streaming down my face. I definitely started my 20's with the realization that time was flying by and I was only growing up. I was young, a bit too big for my britches, and incredibly naïve. I was dating a frat guy that was pretty much on the same page, was basically on a vacation of half-assing my way through college and had no real clue what I wanted to do with my life. It's almost 6 years from my 20th birthday, and although I am nowhere near done learning from my mistakes and triumphs, I wanted to compile a list of things I have gotten out of life so far. Our 20's are said to be our golden years. We are suppose to be jumping on our careers, figuring out our passions, falling in love, all while getting to be selfish and look our best. It's a fun time, but definitely a critical period in building the foundation for the rest of our life. With the help of friends and family, I collaborated a list of 20 things to learn from our 20's.

1) Your parents were right. All along- the hard work, the encouragement to be better, study harder, cheer louder (oh wait, that was me) was all for something. Making my bed in the morning was something I had to do, I HATED it. I bitched and moaned and didn't understand why that was important when I was just going to get back in it later. However, the older I have gotten, the more I have learned that making our bed in the morning leads to one productive thing after another. It's important to start your day off with a routine, even if it's as small of a task as as fluffing some pillows. Plus, no matter how bad your day is- it's always nice to come back to a made-up bed.

2) Don't sweat the small stuff. In our adolescence, we couldn't freaking believe that our boyfriend Ted broke up with us for that trash-bag Melody that couldn't dance as well as us and sure wasn't nearly as cute. It's years later and are Ted and Melody still together? Probably not. As we go through our 20's, we learn that stuff that used to get us rustled and tussled, don't anymore. We have bigger and better things to worry about. Getting angry or upset often is just a waste of time and of a life.

3) It's better to have a small group of good friends, than a large group of flakey ones. In high school, when we had homecoming, everyone made mums for their friends, if you aren't from the south you probably have no idea what that is- it is like a flower decoration weirdo thing that you pin to your shirt to feel cool. It was kind of a popularity contest as to how many mums you had, because the you more you had must have obviously meant you had more friends than everyone else. In your 20's the quantity of mums means shit. It's not about how many people you have in your life, it's about who you have. Having meaningful friendships will carry you far throughout your 20's, even if it's only a handful.

4) Watch what you put on social media. Nothing is private, ever. Even the scandalous pictures you send on snapchat. So stop. Social media is not your diary and is completely public and anything you say or do, can and will be held against you, so stop complaining about how you hate work, your boss is mean, or you can't believe how much of a biatch your friends are being. It will all come back to bite you in the ass. If you publish a plethora of scandalous pictures, posts, and things not suitable for the professional world- it eventually will come back to haunt you and your future. So, let's be more selective as to what we share on social media.

5) Eating out every night will drain your bank account. Listen, unless it's pizza, I HATE leftovers. I like fresh food, always, and it's too expensive for me to cook for just myself so I always eat out. About a year ago, I couldn't understand where all my money was going. I wasn't shopping, well, kind of, or doing anything extravagant with my money, or so I thought. I went through the previous 6 months of my expenses, made a handy-dandy spreadsheet, and realized that literally all of my money was going to food. I don't know if that's because I am a fatass or because I wasn't being smart, but I started to cut back on how often I ate out, and it changed my bank account amount tremendously.

6) Wine>Liquor. Listen, ya know how they say that a glass of wine a day is great for your mind and body? Yeah, take that advice and run with it. Liquor is good for literally nothing but a bad hangover and an embarrassing story about how you woke up on the front lawn of a party. If you want to drink, it's benefits far surpass the calories. Plus, wine allows you get to get classy drunk without anyone being able to judge you. Get to know wine, and drink it.

7) Don't play hard to get, be hard to get- value yourself. Stop settling for crap relationships and friendships for people who are negative and suck the life out of you. Be around people who lift you up, and know your worth, every single day.

8) Even if you don't know what the heck you believe in, keep searching. Very few us have an idea of our exact faith. I believe in God, but the older I have gotten, I believe that religion is not as black and white as we make it out to be. That's just my opinion, but I am still searching for more answers. We are suppose to continue to question a higher power because that means we are motivated to know the truth behind the life we live.

9) Read. No really, actually read. I grew up with Sparknotes being my best friend. I hated reading, and I still can't pick up any ol' book and read it cover to cover. However, I have realized the importance of finding things that interest me and taking the time to read about them. Even with my blog, I write a million times better if I read a couple of books or articles on what I am talking about. At the end of the day, you expand your knowledge and your vocabulary, it's a win-win.

10) Explore everything, figure out your passions now. Our 20's are meant for figuring out what we want to do with our life, what makes our heart tick. Figure it out now by trying new things, explore, fall in love with absolutely everything you can, and then devise a plan on how you can do just that for the rest of your life.

11) Don't settle. If your job sucks, quit. Your boyfriend sucks? Quit him too. You are too young and life is too precious to be anything but top notch. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Your 20's are the platform you create for the rest of your life, so create a strong one that you're proud of.

12) Start eating healthy and working out. We aren't 18 years old anymore. Our weight catches up to us, as does the weekendly pack of powdered donuts you like to divulge in, (just me?). Get on a healthy routine- this doesn't mean you have to be a body builder and only eat grilled chicken and veggies. Just start making better choices and pushing yourself to get 20 minutes of exercise a couple of times a week. Your mind and body will thank you, as will your cellulite on dat booty.

13)You are stronger than you think. Chances are you have gone through, or will go through some sort of a tragedy or difficult period in your 20's. This is the time to pull the strength literally out of your ass you never knew you had. When it's sink or swim, we find that most of the time in adversity, we swim, and we do it pretty well. You are stronger than you think, you were destined to survive, remember that in dark times.

14) Stop complaining. Maybe complaining was okay when you were a teenager and didn't know what real life was, but that can be no more. Whenever you find something to complain about, write it down. You'll start to realize how petty your complaints are and won't want to talk about them out loud, because you won't want to add them to your list. It's just a good habit to get into to change your mind set of being appreciative.

15) Protect your joy. Your happiness is so important. This is the time in your life when you're allowed to be selfish so don't allow yourself to be around negative people or energy that take that away from you. Do things that make you happy, and don't care what people think- your joy is precious, treat it so.

16) If you're going to fail, fail early and fail often. Try new things. This is the time in our life to screw up. If you have a new business idea, or something you want to try- you might as well fall flat on your face now while you can get back up and dust yourself off. Try new things, fail often, at least it shows your effort and passion, and eventually- ya won't fail.

17) Drinking and driving is NOT worth it. We have all seen it, deaths and DWI's. Both suck. One is heartbreaking and one is very expensive, but both are preventable. Uber that shat and stop driving after drinking!

18) Learn how to give a good gift. Precious gifts in life are important. Not necessarily expensive, but thoughtful, meaningful gifts. Give them often, for no reason. It's insane how a small gesture can make someone's day or week turn around. Plus it's good karma, and people will eventually feel obligated to reciprocate back.

19) Wear the crap out of sunscreen. We are at the age where fine lines and wrinkles are creeping like a pedophile around the corner. It sucks, but prevent them by wearing sunscreen, every single day. I don't care if it's raining, wear it under your make up. Make it a habit and protect your skin, it's not worth aging or skin cancer.

20) Love more, everyday. The ultimate hope is that we learn how to love more as we get older, every single day. No matter who, no matter what the circumstance, treat people with love. It doesn't matter what or who you are, loving people will only give you good vibes and a happy life.

I hope you find yourself loving you 20's as much as I do. Remember, we're only in our 20's for 10 years, so let's enjoy it. Live large but be smart, save, have a glass of wine with good friends, experience new things, new people, protect your joy and also your heart, pray, take risks, and just love the crap out of everything.