Kathryn Lane: 2016

Lately I have had zero motivation. I don't know if it's because I am a full time bride (and loving it holla), or it's been summer, it's hot, and I don't want to do anything but sit in front of a freezer butt ass naked, or because I just simply don't have much motivation right now and that's that. I find myself having a hard time doing everyday things that should be incredibly effortless for me to do. With my schedule being my own as a realtor, and the season of the game really slowing down, I have found myself lounging around more than usual. Some might say, oh that's great- and if you're someone with a full time job or have a few children- I completely agree, but I have no excuse. Recently, it has really started to affect my mental health. I find myself dragging my feet wondering a bunch of deep shit like what my purpose is in life and yada, yada, yada.

I think we all go through seasons where we feel better or worse about our place in life. We all want to leave some kind of footprint in the world, we all want to feel self worth, and if we don't feel that way, the long for it can depressing AF. As I have talked and researched with numerous people about this issue, I have realized that this feeling is normal, however, no one is going to change your poop blah situation but you. The tires are going to keep spinning in place until you decide that you want more because you are worth more.

Something else I have found is that the best thing we can do evaluate our efforts, or lack there of, are to write a list of things that we feel are important to add or accomplish during our daily routine that we may not be doing. I am not talking about the ridiculously big goals that can feel unattainable because they overwhelm you (that is how I dream- I am like okay today, I am writing a book. I am going to go make friends with a village of dogs and save them all in 4 hours. I am going to lose 15 pounds by tomorrow evening... and I end up surprised and disappointed in myself when they don't happen).

I have come up with some examples of daily tasks to boost your morale and get you feeling good about your productivity, to get those wheels unstuck and start moving on to your most inspired life. (Note: use these when you have the most energy, for me I am a groggy morning person, so these would be better around lunch time when I have gotten it together and am 110% awake and ready to take the day on.)

1. Drink more water. I do not like water. Like, if I could, I would only drink it after an intense workout where I was basically dying of thirst. I recently have found lemon water is the only way I will actually ingest an appropriate amount of water. So, I have tons of lemons around the house and cut them up as needed and squeeze them into my cup. Plus, you're suppose to have like 11 lemons for good juju anyways, so bam- two birds with one stone.)

2. Meditate for a few minutes. No, you do not have cross your legs and hum, just take a few minutes, even if it's 5, everyday, for mindfulness. For pausing and resetting your brain. No matter what kind of mood or situation you are in- it will make you feel a million times better, plus, it's like the hardest thing ever to sit there and just focus on your breathing, so challenge yourself to do it daily and you'll slowly start finding yourself becoming more relaxed, in tune with your body, and will become more focused.

3. Uplift someone. This for me is something I try to do multiple times a week. Text or reach out to someone with an encouraging word. It could be a close family member, friend, or someone on Facebook that might need a positive message- but make someone feel good, it will make you feel just as good if not better. Sometimes, when I don't want to deal with people, I go and play with a dog at a shelter, which eventually leads me to rescue them & rehome them. Good leads to good- so find yours.

4. Come up with daily affirmations. When you're feeling unsure, anxious, or down- take a minute and recite affirmations out loud. I am always anxious about legit dying from some horrible illness, so mine are, "You are happy, you are healthy, you are at peace." Make yours for what you struggle with and recite them 5 times (it takes 5 positives to negate a negative). As odd as it sounds, there is method to the weirdness, your mind will start to believe what you say and instantly start to feel better.

5. Read. Really, read. A few nights a week, DVR your favorite show and read one chapter in a book, and if you're too tired for a chapter, even a few pages. Remember, we are not trying to run a marathon, just improve the quality of life. This is embarrassing, but I am a sucker for self help books. I just bought both below, and am sooo excited to start them. I will be reading the Joyce Meyer to start my mornings and, "You Are A Badass" at night, probably with a glass of wine if we are being real.

6. Pick up your space. Cleaning the whole house can seem daunting as all hell, but is an instant feel good task. Pick one thing everyday and do it- vacuum, clean counters, wash sheets, etc. Don't overwhelm yourself, break it up into small daily tasks so by the end of the week your home is completely clean and you didn't even break a sweat.

7. Exercise. I truly believe this looks different for everyone. This doesn't necessarily mean hire a personal trainer and get a 6 pack. This may be taking a 15-20 minute walk before or after work, starting to add weights to your regime, doing squats while brushing your teeth. These things seem small, but will impact your routine so much! I started lifting 8 lb weights for the wedding, and I legit have little arm muscles...they cute.

8. Eat a good lunch. I know people always say have a good breakfast, which whatever, I am sure that's true. But all I know is that if I eat a salad or some good protein for lunch, I feel so much better for the rest of the day and usually make better dinner choices as well/ don't feel as bad for chugging my wine.

9. Do something for YOU. For me, this means taking a bath. I get some bath salts (don't always eat them), some bubbles and a candle with a little glass of vino, turn the lights down and melt away. Yours could be getting up a few minutes earlier and enjoying a cup of coffee on the porch alone, hiding away to watch your favorite trash bag TV show, joining a book club. Setting aside time for you to relax and reset is one of the most productive things you can do.

10. Start and finish something. Whether it's a home project or something at work, there is something so incredibly satisfying about finishing something. You accomplished it and now you can enjoy the benefits of it. Figure out something you want or need to do, and carry it out. It feels good to be a gangsta.

The most important advice of all for productivity is stop waiting to feel good enough to do these things. Don't put off these small but incredibly important tasks because they are the literal foundation to our productivity. Our productivity = our worth which = our happiness. At first, they may seem forced and you might wonder what the point is, but as you habituate, you will reap the benefits of what you sew which will boost your morale and overall happiness. Do you have a small but productive task you do everyday that you love? What is it? Comment below!

XX,

Kathryn Lane

Today I woke up reading a quote from gold-medal gymnast Nadia Comaneci, "I don't run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet."

It made me start thinking about how fearful my life has become. Besides my everyday anxiety I deal with, I am in my late 20's, (which doesn't seem old, but is because you're thinking about real life shit), trying to establish a real estate career in Dallas, trying to find my purpose here, maybe join an organization or start one again, and am about to get married and become a wife, which naturally raises the question of when we will have children. With all of those things is excitement, but is then quickly followed by the immediate and intimidating thought of fear and failure of the unknown. The negative thoughts of being unsuccessful at what is a very lucrative profession, not finding some outlet in an organization for me to be a part of and be fulfilled by, and in turn worrying that all of this will affect my marriage and I will end up living in a dark cave with Wrigley watching trashy TV by myself for the rest of my life terrifies me and probably crosses my mind on a daily basis. (I would pay for TV in a cave so I could continue watching my Dateline and Cops shows, don't question it).

"Am I intelligent enough to tell multi-million dollar clients to invest in a property I believe in?" "Could I start a women's group here like I did in Austin and would people Actually join? Dallas is much bigger than Austin, I bet they wouldn't want to be apart of something like that."

"Will I be a good wife? Forever is so long."

"Am I patient enough to be a mother? That would be incredibly hard to do on a 24/7 basis."

I could continue to list these pessimistic thoughts for days, but you get the idea.

The main theme throughout this ludicrous dark thinking is, "will I be good enough?" And if you continue to focus on the possibility of failure and the scariness of the fear, it becomes easier and easier to start believing that you will probably fail so you shouldn't even try. That you are not good enough, so continue to self doubt and be scared of the possibility of being kicked down and defeated.
The funny thing with fear is that it has no validity, and yet we give it so much power. (False Evidence Appearing Real).

Could I fail at all of these things that I worry about? Yes, logistically, I could. I could end up running out of my savings, not getting any new clients with real estate, which would force me to get a second job, and end up feeling worthless, hating my life, and becoming a bitter wife and crappy mom. Chances are I wont, because I highly doubt I would ever allow myself to. But, the thought alone is terrifying, it's almost debilitating, and it definitely puts a pause into what I want out of life.
Something to remember when dealing with fear, with self doubt, with wondering if who you are is enough, is that it's all evil. It wants us to be a part of the bullshit lie that gives us anxiety, sadness, and prevents us from living a whole and beautiful life. We are the only ones who are able to control our thoughts, our view on life and what we are truly capable of. If we believe we are MORE than enough, we are.

We have to learn how to trample our fears so deep into the ground they have no roots to grow back again. When you feel and hear these thoughts start crawling into your mind and affecting your spirit- negate them. Tell them the exact opposite of what they tell you. Our success, our peace, our happiness in life is OUR OWN story to write, don't let fear hold the pen.