Today I woke up reading a quote from gold-medal gymnast Nadia Comaneci, "I don't run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet."
It made me start thinking about how fearful my life has become. Besides my everyday anxiety I deal with, I am in my late 20's, (which doesn't seem old, but is because you're thinking about real life shit), trying to establish a real estate career in Dallas, trying to find my purpose here, maybe join an organization or start one again, and am about to get married and become a wife, which naturally raises the question of when we will have children. With all of those things is excitement, but is then quickly followed by the immediate and intimidating thought of fear and failure of the unknown. The negative thoughts of being unsuccessful at what is a very lucrative profession, not finding some outlet in an organization for me to be a part of and be fulfilled by, and in turn worrying that all of this will affect my marriage and I will end up living in a dark cave with Wrigley watching trashy TV by myself for the rest of my life terrifies me and probably crosses my mind on a daily basis. (I would pay for TV in a cave so I could continue watching my Dateline and Cops shows, don't question it).
"Am I intelligent enough to tell multi-million dollar clients to invest in a property I believe in?" "Could I start a women's group here like I did in Austin and would people Actually join? Dallas is much bigger than Austin, I bet they wouldn't want to be apart of something like that."
"Will I be a good wife? Forever is so long."
"Am I patient enough to be a mother? That would be incredibly hard to do on a 24/7 basis."
I could continue to list these pessimistic thoughts for days, but you get the idea.
The main theme throughout this ludicrous dark thinking is, "will I be good enough?" And if you continue to focus on the possibility of failure and the scariness of the fear, it becomes easier and easier to start believing that you will probably fail so you shouldn't even try. That you are not good enough, so continue to self doubt and be scared of the possibility of being kicked down and defeated.
The funny thing with fear is that it has no validity, and yet we give it so much power. (False Evidence Appearing Real).
Could I fail at all of these things that I worry about? Yes, logistically, I could. I could end up running out of my savings, not getting any new clients with real estate, which would force me to get a second job, and end up feeling worthless, hating my life, and becoming a bitter wife and crappy mom. Chances are I wont, because I highly doubt I would ever allow myself to. But, the thought alone is terrifying, it's almost debilitating, and it definitely puts a pause into what I want out of life.
Something to remember when dealing with fear, with self doubt, with wondering if who you are is enough, is that it's all evil. It wants us to be a part of the bullshit lie that gives us anxiety, sadness, and prevents us from living a whole and beautiful life. We are the only ones who are able to control our thoughts, our view on life and what we are truly capable of. If we believe we are MORE than enough, we are.
We have to learn how to trample our fears so deep into the ground they have no roots to grow back again. When you feel and hear these thoughts start crawling into your mind and affecting your spirit- negate them. Tell them the exact opposite of what they tell you. Our success, our peace, our happiness in life is OUR OWN story to write, don't let fear hold the pen.
The funny thing with fear is that it has no validity, and yet we give it so much power. (False Evidence Appearing Real).
Could I fail at all of these things that I worry about? Yes, logistically, I could. I could end up running out of my savings, not getting any new clients with real estate, which would force me to get a second job, and end up feeling worthless, hating my life, and becoming a bitter wife and crappy mom. Chances are I wont, because I highly doubt I would ever allow myself to. But, the thought alone is terrifying, it's almost debilitating, and it definitely puts a pause into what I want out of life.
Something to remember when dealing with fear, with self doubt, with wondering if who you are is enough, is that it's all evil. It wants us to be a part of the bullshit lie that gives us anxiety, sadness, and prevents us from living a whole and beautiful life. We are the only ones who are able to control our thoughts, our view on life and what we are truly capable of. If we believe we are MORE than enough, we are.
We have to learn how to trample our fears so deep into the ground they have no roots to grow back again. When you feel and hear these thoughts start crawling into your mind and affecting your spirit- negate them. Tell them the exact opposite of what they tell you. Our success, our peace, our happiness in life is OUR OWN story to write, don't let fear hold the pen.
XX,
Kathryn Lane
Posts
